Pride Cupcakes 🌈

As pride month is coming to a close, I wanted to make some pride themed cupcakes to celebrate. I decided to do a red velvet cupcake, with a white chocolate buttercream, topped with pride theme sugar sweets and of course red edible glitter. There isn't a single cake I've made that hasn't been topped with edible glitter and with this being a pride theme it would be rude not to use it! Here's a list of the ingredients I used for the cake.. 

For the red velvet cake I used a recipe from BBC good food which I shall link here. I've used a lot of there recipes in the past and when I saw this one I thought it was a safe bet! I started off by getting together all of my ingredients. I tend to vary where I do my food shop from time to time, so these ingredients are from all over the place! Before anyone asks though the rainbow sugar sweets are from Sainsbury's. 

Now that everything was prepared I got straight to mixing the batter! I mixed all my dry ingredients in one bowl and my wet ingredients in another. I slowly then mixed them together using my hand mixer, which won't be shown in any of these photos as it's very old and I'm desperate for a new one (any reccomendations comment below 👇👇). Once mixed together I added my food colouring, I used more then reccomended in the recipe. I wasn't sure how much to use or how red the batter should be. Looking back I should have added more but at this stage I thought it looked alright!

Once all mixed together I then used my trusty ice-cream scoop to get these into the cupcake cases. I find by using a scoop im getting an even amount of batter to fill the cases, which means they should all rise at the same level. Identical size cupcakes can score you some extra points on bake off, thought I better start getting into this habit now, just in case I ever make it onto the show (lol jokes)! 

As you can see I used the brightest cupcake cases I could find and popped these babies into the oven! While that was baking it was then what I call 'tidy up time', which I didn't feel the need to document! Onto the fun stuff then.. I started preparation for the buttercream. Whenever I make buttercream I do it mostly on trial and error, I'll add a link to a website if you'd prefer a recipe. I tend to add the butter and icing sugar, mix until that tastes good. Melt the white chocolate over a saucepan and mix in together. I then scoop the buttercream into a piping bag and get to decorating!

Before I show you the finished product I wanted to talk a little bit about what pride means to me. Growing up pride wasn't spoken about and if it was it was often spoken about in a negative way. I remember my parents saying that gay pride was happening one day in town and it was a colourful parade of half naked people walking up and down the streets of Truro (which was actually not really the case). I didn't know why they would march or what it really meant. Over the years however I've learnt about this incredible community. This community it brave, beautiful and unapologetic. Going to pride events gave me the confidence to stand up and say that I'm bisexual and proud, which is something that I've struggled with in the past. Seeing members of LGBTQIA+ community speak out for what they believe in, gives me hope for the future. Pride started as a protest for the Stonewall Inn riots and it continues to be a protest for EQUALITY. All anyone ever wants is to be accepted and loved and now more then ever we have to stand up for EQUALITY amongst not just us but especially the trans community. It's something I'm very passionate about and will continue to speak up for. 

I have to say.. these cupcakes didn't turn out 100% as I planned. The buttercream and decorations.. stunning! The taste of the cupcake.. good but not quite a red velvet taste to it. The colour of the cupcake.. brown.. any hint of red was gone by the time I pulled these out of the oven. Even though these didn't match up to my expectations, the people in work sure seemed to enjoy them as they were talking about them for days! I guess I'll have to try out this recipe again very very soon and hopefully find out where I went wrong. If any of you try to recreate these please tag me in your pictures, I'd love to see them!

I'm Back!

I can't believe it's been 5 years since I started my blog, time really does fly when your having fun. Through the years blogging has given me so many amazing opportunities from covering fashion week, to starting my own radio show and even getting signed to my first modelling contract. Most importantly blogging gave me a voice and a platform to share my life and my mental health journey. I was able to inspire others by sharing my story and even encourage my own healing in the process. You must all be wondering what happened? Why did she stop? Honestly, I had some growing up to do. I needed to do it on my own without the pressure to create uplifting content in times that felt overwhelming for me. In January 2019 I got offered an incredible opportunity to pursue my career and in order to achieve this I had to move to a new county, away from my friends and family. This was a decision I made myself, to create a better life (not that there was anything wrong with it in the first place). I wanted freedom, independence and a change of scenery. A chance to go somewhere new and start over. To be the best version of myself.

As new and exciting as this all sounds, it did come with it's challenges. The first few weeks of living in my flat, I had no living room furniture, empty cupboards, unpacked boxes and curtains that my grandmothers table cloth would be ashamed of! This was not what I had planned! I always aspire to perfection in everything that I do, the fact that my flat wasn't perfect straight away and didn't resemble any of my pinterest folders, was something I had to get over very quickly. I learnt that perfection doesn't happen over night. My flat felt a bit more complete when my cat Scamp moved in on the 16th February 2019. I left him at home with my mum while I settled into my place and decided to move him in later on. I missed him so much and I was thrilled when my landlord said he could move in. Then February 27th 2019 another love came into my life, my boyfriend Henry. We met through work and the second I saw him the sparks started flying. We made it official at an 'As It Is' concert. I had no idea who the band were and I remember listening to them non-stop for about 48 hours before the concert, so I knew a few of their songs beforehand. I love him so much and I honestly can't imagine what my life would be like without him. Since he came into my life, he's made me so happy. He's really been my rock for all the challenges the last 18 months have brought me. We are a team and we're so much stronger together.

In August 2019, I had my first headline show in Exeter. If you don't already know I go by the name SILVER for my modeling and music pages. I love to sing in my spare time and I'm always looking for new opportunities to perform. It's something that I love and wish I could do more of. I was fortunate enough to be able to hold a show at Coolings and I was overjoyed with the incredible turnout it had! With it being my first show in Exeter I was extremely nervous and I had no idea what to expect. My friends came out to support me and it all went so well.. I didn't want to get off the stage! On the flip side of that days later, I had a slight health scare. I was away at Brighton pride weekend and I was having excruciating stomach pains that would leave me doubled over in pain. I had no idea what was causing it. Crohn's runs in my family and I was showing symptoms, my mind went straight to the worst case scenario. When I got home I got registered with a doctor and made my first appointment within 24 hours (that's at least 10 adult points.. how many 22 year olds do you know that make their own doctors appointments?). I was so grateful that they could make this happen in such a short amount of time because I was in alot of pain. After countless appointments and blood tests. I got the all clear! They weren't 100% sure what caused the pain but they were certain that it wasn't Crohn's, which was a huge weight off my shoulders. When the pain was at it's worse I hardly ate and after this was over, I had gained a new found respect for food and my body. I had disordered eating patterns beforehand and I did exercise alot. When I felt well enough again I stopped going to the gym and focused more on fuelling my body and rebuilding my relationship with food. It was a wake up call.

One of the hardest things about moving away is not being around your friends and family. I'm quite a reserved person it can take a while for someone to really get to know me and knock down my walls. In times of sadness I'd wish to be around them, just to have someone that knew me and knew what to say to make me feel better. I had my first Christmas away from home with Henry and his family. We had the most wonderful day but I did have a moment on Christmas morning of feeling incredibly homesick. This was a huge step for me and something out of a normal Christmas day routine. In that respect I wish I could have been with both Henry and his family and my own. I was in both places in spirit for sure. We needed up having a lovely day filled with good food and great company and to top it all off a trip to Disneyland Paris at the end of January.. excited was an understatement! My best friend Laura came to visit me multiple times in the past 18 months. I would have gone completely insane if I didn't have some quality Megan and Laura time. There's nothing better then catching up, having deep emotional life chats and drinking gin with your bestie. Plus there's an all you can eat breakfast buffet around the corner from where I live, which she can't resist! Without the love and support of all of the incredible people I've listed and so many more. I couldn't have done this move without them. There were times where it would have been easy for me to give up and go back packing to Cornwall, but I stuck to it and kept picking myself back up when life would get me down. I honestly wouldn't change a thing and I can't wait to see what the future has in store! 

Little Things I Love About My Flat

After moving to Exeter almost 3 months ago, I can happily say that I've settled into my new way of living so well. I've faced many challenges from meal planning to decor to cat separation anxiety. All of which I can do separate blog posts on if that's the kind of thing you'd like to read about 😂 I'm at a point now where I'm super happy and comfortable with the space that I'm in and I thought I'd give you an insight to some little things I love about my flat and where you can get some of the items that I'm going to feature.

Let's start with the living room! I wanted to create an inspiring space full of things I love and motivate me. The colour scheme I've gone with is grey, black, purple, rose gold and blush. All of my furniture was assembled with my own hands which was a huge achievement for me.. as much as I love my arts and crafts I'm not usually one for D.I.Y but thankfully the Ikea instructions were all pictures which made my life soo much easier! My sofas are from an affordable range at Argos which I thought was perfect for starting out in, I'm sure overtime I'll look at upgrading but I'm absolutely in love with what I have. My pink throw, sequin and white cushions are all from Primark. My watercolour cushions and wall stickers are from SHEIN. It was my first time ordering from SHEIN and I have to say I'm very impressed with their quality at such great prices! My TV stand, coffee table, desk and book case are all from the V range at Ikea. I love my desk! I've always wanted a proper desk, over the years I've prioritised having make up space rather than an office space, but now I have the perfect space where I can work on my content. On my fireplace I have a collection of photos, polaroids and fairy lights which I've acquired over time, this is probably my favourite area in my flat, makes me smile everytime I look at it.

Now onto my bedroom. My bedroom at home was very personally to me, it was a room I can go to to shut the world out and this still applies. I've gone with a theme of grey, blush and mustard. My bedding was all from Primark. I love the colours so much from my bedding it all works together so well and it makes my bedroom look so colourful and pretty. Wall sticker from SHEIN, I'm a sucker for a motivational quote, it was a no brainer getting this out up. Desk was a vintage find on ebay. Desk chair and the rest of my bedroom furniture is from Argos. (Let me know if you'd like a separate post on how I organise my make up, which is all part of my desk).

My kitchen is the one room in my flat that I have a bad relationship with! I might as well put up a sign on the door saying "send help". I can't cook to save my life and it stresses me out so much. My kitchen is pretty basic it has everything I need, oven, fridge, microwave, washing machine, cupboards.. ya know the basic stuff. My bin was from Wilko. My trolley was a good find from Tiger at only £15, I felt like I needed more space in my cupboards so this was the perfect edition to help me de-clutter. As you can see my cat is now living with me in my flat and I love him so much! He has a special shelf dedicated to all of his food and treats (I couldn't take a picture of his adorable bowls because he's such an animal and always makes such a mess). My microwave was a moving in present from my lovely grandparents. And that sums up the kitchen.

My bathroom also stressed me out. When I moved into the flat there were a few outstanding issues of things they needed to sort out one of them is my shower, the doors don't close properly and my light fitting is forever breaking, which is a bit of a pain! All of my bathroom accessories are from Primark and my storage tower is from Argos (5 hours later into building.. I have drawers aha).

I hope you enjoyed this little insight into my flat. It may not be perfect to some but it's perfect to me and I'm so grateful for what I have.

2019 and my biggest challenge

Hi everyone, just wanted to start off by wishing you all a happy New Year (little late to the party I know). What a year 2018 was.. or as I like to say #20gayteen 🎉 The year started off kinda shakey but then came the summer of a lifetime! I went to the Taylor Swift Reputation Stadium World Tour at Wembly. I partied the whole pride season with Bristol, Plymouth, Cornwall and it's Britney Bitch.. only went and saw the queen at Brighton Pride! Come the fall I went to London Fashion Week, met designer Katharine Hamnett, saw Halsey and Hayley Kiyoko LIVE! Not to mention seeing Carrie Hope Fletcher in Heathers and Michelle Visage in Everybody's Talking About Jamie. Days before Halloween I met 2 of my idols and vlogging sensations Rose and Rosie. Then to truly top my year off I sat next to Mama RuPaul while watching Todrick Hall in Chicago! 2018 has been an incredible year and I want to thank you so much for your continued support, not only from me but Silver. I've been so astonished with everything I've achieved this past year.

So whats next you ask? Well I'm starting the biggest journey there is.. adulthood (dun dun duuunnn)! January 4th I moved into my new flat in Devon which is about 2 hours away from home. There are countless reasons why I chose to move..

A. To gain more freedom. I've been talking about moving out since I turned 18 but was always afraid of the risk and worried about being lonely living on my own. Since moving I've had a real chance to connect with myself and realise what's important in my life.

B. I love Cornwall don't get me wrong but it's so quiet and sometimes can be a little backwards. I wanted to move to a bigger city, with brighter lights (a nandos and a gay bar) and more oppetunities. I knew I had to move for work and there are plenty more venues here and oppertunities for gigs for Silver too. 

C. It was the right time. I felt truly ready and dependant and I can't wait to see what this next chapter has in store. Not only will I be turning into a proper adult this year but I want to create more content. I forgot how much I love making videos and writing blog posts so this year there will be tonnes more of that (once my broadband get a installed 🤞).

In terms of Silver, I honestly want to keep gigging, trying out new material and maybe release a couple of my own songs. The world is my oyster and the options are endless. On a scale of 1-10, I'd probably say I'm about a 10 excited about life right now. I hope you guys had an incredible new year! Let me know what your 2019 plans are in the comments 👇👇

me a model: a few words

For years I've had a love/hate relationship with modelling. I've seen first hand the damages that it can do to a person and the success you can gain from it. The fashion industry is everything to me. 

I was persuaded to start modelling a few years back, after I posted some pictures onto my blog that got alot of attention. I never expected to get signed straight away, I first joined the agency AMA which is now known as Cornwall Models and Promotions. My contract is up and I'm in 2 minds as the wether to re-sign or not. I love modelling which is why I'd never want to give it up completely. It's so intimidating when you meet promoters or photographers and all they care about is your shape and wether you have a nice pair of tits or not. It's fair enough that some promoters might have a particular idea of what they want in mind and when meeting someone like me they'll know instantly wether or wether not I meet that criteria, so why waste my time and stare at my chest if you already know I'm not what your looking for? I don't appreciate that as a model and a woman.

There is alot of pressure that comes along with modelling. You constantly have to be on your 'A' game, workout, eat healthy and look good all of the time in case a job comes up but sometimes that's not always achievable. For example whenever I'm due on my period my stomach bloats and I mean alot, I usually go up a dress size for that short period of time which is something I can't control. It makes me feel so self conscious going to shoots in that state because a photographer could literally drop me just for that. I read an article recently about Karlie Kloss, who is a model I've been inspired for, for years and she lost jobs when she went on the contraceptive pill because it made her gain a little weight.. why should that matter? She's only taking care of her health. She's still a gorgeous 6ft something incredible woman.

I had a conversation with someone recently who referred to me as being 'an expert' at modelling.. which is far from the truth, I'm still starting out really. They asked for my advice and all I had to say was be true to you, have fun and experiment and know your audience, which I think is key. We all have those people that we look up to and you never know that person could be you! What kind of message are you putting out to the world? What do you stand for? Who do you represent? Who do you inspire? These are all important questions you should ask yourself regularly, to help keep you grounded and true to who you are.

Modelling In.. Truro Trend

The 1st October marks the beginning of Truro Fashion Week. The annual celebration took a break last year but this year it's back and bigger then before. Over the years Truro town has seen lots of developments with shops being added to our highstreet. In 2016 Primark opened their doors. Bringing tonnes of business and oppertunities into Truro. I am delighted to announce that I'll be modelling for Primark the UK's number 1 fashion retailer, in the upcoming Truro Trend event. 

I've been modelling for a few years now on and off. I go threw phases of having a love/hate relationship with it. This is going to be my first ever catwalk, on one hand that's so exciting and on the other hand it's terrifying  I've seen so many videos of models falling on the catwalk and getting criticized. You know a shows gone well when you've not been turned into an internet meme the day after! Fingers crossed everything will run smoothly.

I had my first run through for the show a couple days ago and it went really well! All I'm going to say is the other shops better bring it! Because Primark has something spectacular in the works.

Truro Trend is a catwalk event taking place at the Cathedral on Wednesday 3rd October. During this evening local retailers will showcase their A/W ranges. There will also be oppertunities to shop around and take a look at the stalls to see all of the incredible things that Truro has to offer. The event starts at 7pm and tickets are only £10. It's would be lovely to see some familiar faces there for some support.

I've attended the event in previous years and it's such a lovely evening. It's a great chance to get together with friends and have a few cheeky proseccos. Sit back and relax, as you watch models strut their stuff on the runway in the latest fashions. Other stores you'll be seeing on the runway include - Accessorize, Monsoon, Animal, Cliffside Clothing, Enjoy, Little Boutique, Mistral, Moss Bros, No22, Quba & Co, Ula, New Look and of course Primark.

Tickets are available now on Eventbrite here. To find out more information on this event and exclusive offers happening around Truro Fashion Week, check out the Truro Trend Facebook page here.

Also huge thanks to Kernow Photography for taking these pictures.

london: day 3

I woke up this morning like an over active child on Christmas day! Today is the day I'll be seeing Halsey and I can't contain my excitement!

We started off the day by heading to Bill's for breakfast, I had pancakes with bacon and maple syrup, it was absolutely delicious! Then headed off to see the queen in Buckingham Palace. I've been to London so many times but never visited Buckingham Palace, which was an incredible experience and something to tick off the bucket list. The weather today is clouded with a spot of rain, which was when we took shelter and headed to Covent Gardens to have a look around the markets. I picked up a few gems for some family memebers but not myself this time.

We then stopped for a late lunch/early dinner at Frankie and Bennys.. I had a meatball pizza which was pretty peng! Then started slowly heading back to our hotel not forgetting to stop of for some pre-party supplies in Tesco. Some people find getting ready for a night out a chore but I don't! I absolutely love getting all dressed up and making an effort for a special occasion. For the concert I wore a rainbow stripe sparkly dress, which is a little gem I found in Primark prior to the show, for only £13!

Doors to the concert opened at 7pm and we we're there a little early to get merch. We managed to see one of the opening acts a singer called Raye who a lot of people having been raving about to me recently. She's a London girl, who's pretty wild and her voice has such a lovely tone to it.

Halsey's performance was so incredible! I had a video call with my friend Brandon before we headed out and he's was so hyped for me and we've both been back and forth wondering if G-Eazy would make an appearance, but unfortunately he didn't. Halsey is such an incredible artist and i have so much respecf and admiration for her. She opened the show with her song 'Eye's Closed', I was convinced she would have opened with 'Now or Never' it was so beautifully done. During her performance she had multiple outfit changes and I was envious of every single one, Halsey has such an incredible sense of style, I wish I could raid her wardrobe for the day. My favourite song that she performed was 'Don't Play' when teetee joins her on stage and she splashes water out to the audience and does a fierce dance routine.

I didn't leave the show empty handed, I had to get some merch of course! I got the HFK Tour hoodie and T-shirt. I'm in love and never want to take it off!

It breaks my heart to know that tomorrow I'll be heading home and back to work and back to reality. I've had the most wonderful time here! I'll be counting down the days until I'm back again next month.