I'm Back!

I can't believe it's been 5 years since I started my blog, time really does fly when your having fun. Through the years blogging has given me so many amazing opportunities from covering fashion week, to starting my own radio show and even getting signed to my first modelling contract. Most importantly blogging gave me a voice and a platform to share my life and my mental health journey. I was able to inspire others by sharing my story and even encourage my own healing in the process. You must all be wondering what happened? Why did she stop? Honestly, I had some growing up to do. I needed to do it on my own without the pressure to create uplifting content in times that felt overwhelming for me. In January 2019 I got offered an incredible opportunity to pursue my career and in order to achieve this I had to move to a new county, away from my friends and family. This was a decision I made myself, to create a better life (not that there was anything wrong with it in the first place). I wanted freedom, independence and a change of scenery. A chance to go somewhere new and start over. To be the best version of myself.

As new and exciting as this all sounds, it did come with it's challenges. The first few weeks of living in my flat, I had no living room furniture, empty cupboards, unpacked boxes and curtains that my grandmothers table cloth would be ashamed of! This was not what I had planned! I always aspire to perfection in everything that I do, the fact that my flat wasn't perfect straight away and didn't resemble any of my pinterest folders, was something I had to get over very quickly. I learnt that perfection doesn't happen over night. My flat felt a bit more complete when my cat Scamp moved in on the 16th February 2019. I left him at home with my mum while I settled into my place and decided to move him in later on. I missed him so much and I was thrilled when my landlord said he could move in. Then February 27th 2019 another love came into my life, my boyfriend Henry. We met through work and the second I saw him the sparks started flying. We made it official at an 'As It Is' concert. I had no idea who the band were and I remember listening to them non-stop for about 48 hours before the concert, so I knew a few of their songs beforehand. I love him so much and I honestly can't imagine what my life would be like without him. Since he came into my life, he's made me so happy. He's really been my rock for all the challenges the last 18 months have brought me. We are a team and we're so much stronger together.

In August 2019, I had my first headline show in Exeter. If you don't already know I go by the name SILVER for my modeling and music pages. I love to sing in my spare time and I'm always looking for new opportunities to perform. It's something that I love and wish I could do more of. I was fortunate enough to be able to hold a show at Coolings and I was overjoyed with the incredible turnout it had! With it being my first show in Exeter I was extremely nervous and I had no idea what to expect. My friends came out to support me and it all went so well.. I didn't want to get off the stage! On the flip side of that days later, I had a slight health scare. I was away at Brighton pride weekend and I was having excruciating stomach pains that would leave me doubled over in pain. I had no idea what was causing it. Crohn's runs in my family and I was showing symptoms, my mind went straight to the worst case scenario. When I got home I got registered with a doctor and made my first appointment within 24 hours (that's at least 10 adult points.. how many 22 year olds do you know that make their own doctors appointments?). I was so grateful that they could make this happen in such a short amount of time because I was in alot of pain. After countless appointments and blood tests. I got the all clear! They weren't 100% sure what caused the pain but they were certain that it wasn't Crohn's, which was a huge weight off my shoulders. When the pain was at it's worse I hardly ate and after this was over, I had gained a new found respect for food and my body. I had disordered eating patterns beforehand and I did exercise alot. When I felt well enough again I stopped going to the gym and focused more on fuelling my body and rebuilding my relationship with food. It was a wake up call.

One of the hardest things about moving away is not being around your friends and family. I'm quite a reserved person it can take a while for someone to really get to know me and knock down my walls. In times of sadness I'd wish to be around them, just to have someone that knew me and knew what to say to make me feel better. I had my first Christmas away from home with Henry and his family. We had the most wonderful day but I did have a moment on Christmas morning of feeling incredibly homesick. This was a huge step for me and something out of a normal Christmas day routine. In that respect I wish I could have been with both Henry and his family and my own. I was in both places in spirit for sure. We needed up having a lovely day filled with good food and great company and to top it all off a trip to Disneyland Paris at the end of January.. excited was an understatement! My best friend Laura came to visit me multiple times in the past 18 months. I would have gone completely insane if I didn't have some quality Megan and Laura time. There's nothing better then catching up, having deep emotional life chats and drinking gin with your bestie. Plus there's an all you can eat breakfast buffet around the corner from where I live, which she can't resist! Without the love and support of all of the incredible people I've listed and so many more. I couldn't have done this move without them. There were times where it would have been easy for me to give up and go back packing to Cornwall, but I stuck to it and kept picking myself back up when life would get me down. I honestly wouldn't change a thing and I can't wait to see what the future has in store!