2017 Round Up!

January 1st | I kick started the year off in style, in this 1920's get up at what was Deja Vu's 'Gangsta and Dolls' New Year Eve's party.

January 21st | I started a new project and hosted my own radio show on source fm. For my very first show I combined what I do on YouTube with my radio show and I got the audience involved by asking me questions, under a popular YouTube tag #AskMegan. I remember feeling very disappointed with my first show, I was extremely nervous and there were quite a few 'umm' moments but, if it wasn't for that experience then I don't think I would of had the determination to carry on for as long as I did. My show was appropriately titled the 'Lost Wolf' show and I spoke about anything and everything, every Saturday between 4-5.30pm. At the time I was hosting my show, I was completely exhausted, what with my full time job and maintaining my blog and YouTube channel, it was an awful lot to take on. My show sadly ended on May 13th. I went out on a good note my last show was during Mental Health Awareness Week and I spoke about my own battles with Mental Health and got to tell some stories from listeners too. My radio show was one of my top greatest achievements and I would do it all over again! 

February 8th | I had the incredible opportunity to model for the fabulous photographer Emma Griffin, for a fashion Editorial on behalf of Vintage Life Magazine. Emma is a photographer that I admire so so much! Her photo's are incredible and when I was offered this opportunity, I was completely over the moon! The magazine was released May 1st and when I had a copy in my hands it was one of the more surreal experiences but, one I will treasure for the rest of my life.

February 13th | All of my dreams came true! As I went to London to meet and see Tegan and Sara perform at the Roundhouse. Tegan and Sara have been such a massive inspiration to me for many years now, so meeting them was a very strange experience but one I'll treasure for the rest of my life! And after much anticipation I also visited the Alexander McQueen store, which may not seem like such a massive achievement but, to me it was! I idolized Alexander McQueen from a young age, his fashion and words spoke to me and he was the man that inspired me to work in fashion (baby steps though, of course)!

March 18th | I had my first gig in years and performed at Zee In The Park. Music has been one of my passions forever but, I've never really done much to put myself out there and when the opportunity came about for me to perform at Zee In The Park, I took the opportunity with both hands! The event was all in aid of Young People Cornwall, which is an organisation close to my heart as they're a youth group which I use to attend in my teens. I was very nervous in the run up to this performance but, I enjoyed every second.  

April 22nd + May 12th | Was the time of makeovers as I got my nose pierced and dyed my hair a turquoise blue! As much as I love changing up my look, I don't think blue hair suited me but, looking back on it though it did look pretty cool!

May 8th | I did something different and attended a Cosplay Karaoke night with YAY Cornwall. I dressed up as Matt Smith's Doctor Who, sonic screwdriver and everything. Dressing up as a man, was actually an empowering experience and was a great excuse to wear my H&M suit too. 

May 21st | After over a year without releasing a single Lookbook on my channel, I filmed a 90's inspired spring/summer Lookbook. I had the best time shooting this! 

June 20th | I achieved a pretty big blogger goal and that was interviewing a celebrity but, not just any celebrity, Ria Mae! After seeing her opening up for Tegan and Sara in London, I fell in love with her music and her onstage persona. She is extremely talented and her saying yes to doing this interview, was an incredible moment for me!

July 22nd | To kick start my summer of prides, the first stop was trans pride in Brighton! It was my first time going to Brighton and I fell in love with the city!

August 5th | 2nd pride stop was Plymouth pride. I had the absolute pleasure of marching with YAY Cornwall!

August 26th | My final pride stop was of course Cornwall pride! I had an absolute blast! There were some hesitations before the big day, as in previous years pride has been held in Truro, but this year to celebrate the 10 year anniversary pride was moved to Newquay and I think the organizers did a very good job with pulling off this years event. The headliner act for Cornwall pride was previous X Factor boy band, Union J, who I actually met before they went on stage! Over Christmas Cornwall pride released a short film from the day, which I was in for a short snippet, so head over to their Facebook page and check that out! 

October 1st | Over this year I've had some incredible blogging opportunities. One of which was working with online clothing brand Boutique of Molly. We collaborated on a blog post a little while back and are in preparation of working on our next one.

October 10th | I posted an emotional Instagram message in aid of World Mental Health Day.

October 31st | I did one of my favorite make-up looks of the year! Which was when I dressed up as a mermaid on Halloween! I did the whole fishnet tights over the head technique, worked a charm!

November 4th | I released my Autumn Lookbook in collaboration with Jam Industries. This is by far my favorite Lookbook I've filmed. It was so much fun getting to dance around in the leaves!

December 1st | I turned 21 and it was a pretty emotional time, as in my teen years I attempted suicide and I never thought I'd make it to 21 but, I did and I'm doing so much better now, than I did then. I have an incredible career, the worlds most amazing friends and a very supportive family.

December 10th | I payed tribute to one of my idols, Miss Amy Winehouse. This past year I started doing Musical Theatre with CDS. I've had the best time doing these classes, they've totally helped me to improve my confidence and my ability to sing in front of other people. This picture was taken back stage at our end of year show for Top of The Pops, I had an absolute blast performing at this!

December 22nd | And finally I couldn't have done my 2017 round up without including my girls! They're my complete rocks and I love them so much! This picture was taken from our Christmas party a couple of weeks back!

That was a quick re-cap of what 2017 was like for me, I wish you all a Happy New Year!

Life Update Sunday | 21 Things I've Learnt About Turning 21

I made a video recently about 21 things I've learnt about turning 21 and I'd like to share what I came up with, with you..

1) If you have free time spend it with your family as, you don’t know how long you’ll have them around for.

2) Take time for yourself.

3) Not everyone is going to like you and that’s okay, you should never feel the need to change yourself to impress other people.

4) Don’t be afraid of failure, everything happens for a reason and you’ll learn from that.

5)Step outside of your comfort zone because, if you don’t keep pushing yourself to do bigger and better things than you’ll never grow up, you’ll just stay being the same person for another 21 years.

6) The most beautiful thing a woman can wear is her smile.

7)Not matter how old you are, you’ll always be able to call mum for help.

8) It’s important to realize just how much your actions and words can affect others.

9) Don’t google your symptoms.

10) Life is short treat your self.

11) You are responsible for your own happiness. If your ever in a situation where you don’t feel un-happy, find the cause and fix it.

12) Take care of your body, you’ll only ever get 1.

13) Knowledge is the one thing that no one can take away from you, so stay in school kids!

14) Give back to your community as it’s the one thing that will always help you get found, when you feel lost.

15) Never take for granted that feeling you get when you come home from being somewhere so different.   

16) Alexander McQueen taught me that there is beauty in everything, what normal people will perceive as being ugly, I can usually see something of beauty in it.

17) Don’t learn how to react, learn how to respond.

18) Don’t stress over getting older, it’s all apart of life, you need to embrace it.

19) When I was growing up girls in my class would compare themselves to celebrities in magazines and I’ve seen just how the damage that can do. I’ve learnt how to admire someone else’s beauty without questioning my own.

20) Don’t ever feel ashamed of who you are, you could be someone’s biggest inspiration.

21) I’ve still got a lot to learn. 

The past 21 years have taught me a lifetime of lessons but I'm still young and I'm still learning. I can't wait to see what the future has in store for me.

Coming Out At Cornwall Pride 2017?

Pride means so many things to different people. To me pride means embracing who you are and not feeling ashamed. For the last few years I've been thinking a lot about my own sexuality. I was looking for a label I felt comfortable with but, why? Why should I categorize myself to make it easier for other people to understand me? Why can't I just live my life, date and fall in love with who I want?.. I honestly can't think of a decent reason, so I'm just going to do that. At the... end of the day, if I fall in love with a guy, I fall in love with a guy, if I fall in love with a girl, I fall in love with a girl... or you know anyone in between. All I want in life is to be happy and to be loved. If it makes it easier for you to call me bi or pan or queer, then go right ahead. All I am today is proud to be apart of the lgbtq community. 

How amazing would it be if in the future coming out wasn't a big deal? And prejudice and lack of acceptance against lgbtq people, just went away? Well that's why we need Pride, especially Cornwall Pride. I've lived in Cornwall all my life and whenever I go outside of Cornwall to places like London or Plymouth or Brighton, lgbtq people are more accepted and celebrated in a way, I feel like Cornwall is so much further behind the rest of the country and I feel like lgbtq is something that's swept under the carpet and isn't spoken about, like hey we exist here too! But that's just my opinion. Cornwall Pride 2017, was bright, bold and beautiful and I was so happy to be apart of it. Talking about Pride in Cornwall will hopefully help people come a little bit closer over that line, to becoming a more accepting place.       

Life Update Sunday | A Few Words On 13 Reasons Why #MHAM

Have you ever seen the meme that says "raise your hand if you've ever been personally victimized by tequila"? Well, that's kinda how I felt after watching 13 reasons why. 5 years ago I lost a friend to suicide and it was the most heartbreaking experience. There was no reason. No tapes. No note. Just nothing. A life ended and the world continued. If you could have known her, you would know that she was smiley, she had an adorable sense of style, she lived in charity shop jumpers, she had an amazing ear for music, she could sing too but, she never believed she could! Courtney was bright, but in her 14th year her light burned out.    

After watching 13 reasons why, I'm a complete mess. I thought I was strong enough to watch it, I thought I was over Courtneys death, I thought my days of dark thoughts and rain clouds over my head were gone. Luckily though I'm at a point in my mental health journey, that I'm able to identify when I'm not doing okay and luckily enough I have a supportive and understanding network of people around me to help. Some people are less fortunate and that's one of the reasons why Mental Health Awareness week is so important and remember its not just for the week but the whole of May.

Mental health is not easy watch, mental health is not easy to talk about but, I guess that's the point of 13 reasons why, to raise awareness of the signs and instead of dwelling on 'what if moments', hopefully some people will actually stop and think, before acting.

Everyone has a mental health, but it depends on how well you take care of that mental health, to how you react in certain situations. Have a nice day and be kind to one another. 

Life Update Sunday | I Have ALOT Going On!!

I'm going to be taking a little break from blogging. After my radio show debut, I just want to spend a few weeks just focusing on that and my work and not have to worry as much with updating my blog and YouTube channel. I've recently been feeling a little overwhelmed with all of the things that I've got going on, with my full time job, radio show, maintaining my blog and YouTube channel, as well as socializing seeing friends and family and actually having down time, I think I deserve a couple of weeks off. I'm not saying that I'm quitting blogging, just taking a step back for a little while. I hope you'll all understand and not be too disappointed, in the decision I've made.. I will be back sooner than you'll think! Thank you all for your continuous support.

Life Update Sunday | When Things Don't Go To Plan

Yesterday I presented my first ever radio show and lets just say things didn't quite go to plan. I came to record somewhat prepared, I had my script written out, a playlist of songs, my boyfriend for moral support and my friends, and guests Steve and Simon on stand by to jump in. The second I went live on air the pressure got to me, I panicked and rushed through my script in about 20 minutes. In between songs I'd turn to Adam and say how badly it was going.. I was completely gutted! I put a lot of thought into my show, I wanted it to be something that I was proud of and something I was good at, especially as there was quite a bit of advertisement to go along with it. But as the perfectionist that I am, I just wanted to re-do it, start again or just give up but..

"the show must go on" 

After my mini-meltdown on and off air, I called my guests Steve and Simon to the rescue. While chatting to them, I managed to calm down and slowly my stress levels softened. The technical side of things was a little frustrating, what you can't see on the radio is a hundred different buttons with loads of different uses, it will definitely take me a little while to get use to that side of things. Overall, I survived and I did it, even though I felt like giving up a handful of times. After the show was over a massive sigh of relief was let out and a bottle of prossecco was waiting for me in the fridge at home. I just wanted to leave, I didn't want to talk about my show, I didn't want to listen, I was pretty bummed with how it turned out, despite from positive feedback, I was convinced that I had failed. 

Now I'm able to reflect on what happened, I think I was definitely being too hard on myself. It was my first show, there's bound to be something not to go to plan or turn out how you expected, nobody's perfect we all have our moments of insecurities and anxieties. I'm going to treat it like a learning curb, not something I'm going to dwell on but, something to be proud of. It's taught me how I can be better prepared for next time, as there are a few things I could have done differently. I'm looking forward to next weeks show to see how it all turns out.     

Life Update Sunday | HUGE Update and Finding My Voice

Long time not chat, I know I know! My last week of daily blogging didn't quite come to a finish, so here I am with a massive update!

Firstly, I left my job at Superdrug, which was a really hard decision for me, I loved my time there and I will always value those experiences, but I have now gone onto yet, bigger and better things.. I've started working full time at Primark and celebrated 3 years in retail and as you can probably guess I've been pretty busy with that, hence my lack of blog posts! So far I am really enjoying it, since I was about 13 years old I've always wanted to work in fashion and now I'm finally doing that, as well as working on my blog and silly as it may sound, but I really hope that this all works out for me. The ultimate dream would be to open my own Vintage Clothing shop (as well as becoming the next Taylor Swift) and here I am on my way to doing that.. baby steps though of course!

The last cake Friday @ Superdrug

Primark Friends and Family Evening 

Secondly, huge announcement! One of my many upcoming projects in 2017, will be my own radio show! I will be joining the Source fm family, which is a local radio station in the Falmouth/Penryn area, you can listen to it online, as well as through Facebook live which I will be trialing for a few weeks, check out my page so you don't miss any updates -  https://www.facebook.com/iamthelostwolf/! As I've been preparing for my first show in January, there's one thing that I've been struggling with and it's something that I wanted to share with you and that is.. finding my voice. It may sound so simple and small but, it has been on my mind. I've been figuring out what I want to say, how to involve you and team internet and what kind of impact do I want to make. Turns out all of the answers were right in front of me! 'The Lost Wolf Show', as you may know the story behind my blog and the song 'We Are The Lost Wolves', it's all about feeling like an outcast and society tries to label you and put you in a box before you've had a chance to explore your options and see whats out there. So I took that story and the inspiration behind my blog and involve everything I do, to create 'The Lost Wolf Show', to inspire those outcasts and to give them something that they belong too and to give them a voice. My most popular blog posts have been the ones were I've been truly honest, talking about relationships and my mental health, which are going to be running topics on my show and of course, like my blog my show will be interactive so you guys can get involved too! Maybe even come on the show with me, the possibilities are endless and I'm very excited for what is to come in the new year!

Other than that you've not missed much.. I've only gone and turned into Black Swan over Halloween, seen Tom Odell for the second time, been and booked Tegan and Sara tickets for 2017, turned into Wonder Women at a time that I really wasn't Wonder Women for a fancy dress party, got another ear piercing, left my teens and turned 20 (which I'll go into detail in next weeks blog post) but I have also.. finished my Christmas Shopping!!! So now I'm back and feeling like a more together women! I'll always be busy and have a crazy lifestyle but I love it! And don't worry I'll never leave you guys out, your coming along on this journey with me! Here's to be a together women who is very excited for Christmas and the New Year! Love you guys!!

Life Update Sunday | Break From Blogging And What You've Missed

Hello Everyone..

I'd firstly like to start with an apology.. Back in June my blog hit 15,000 hits and I started to feel the pressure to make new and exciting content for you, my readers. I'm not taking for granted or bragging about reaching my new milestone, I am genuinely upset that I've not been able to blog properly these last few months and here are a few reasons why...

June 22nd | I'll go into this in further detail in my next 'Tunes Tuesday' post but, I had to touch upon it here too. I took time off from work and went to Camden for a couple of days by myself to go and see Tegan and Sara! It was one of the best nights of my life! But as you can imagine there was a lot of high emotions leading up to my trip. I was worried about travelling up, even though I have been to London before it would have been my first experience in Camden. I was worried about my accommodation, if there was a mix up or if they gave my room away or I didn't feel comfortable there. I was worried about going to the concert, if I was going to get trampled on, if I were to faint or have a literal heart attack from seeing my idols. In the end everything worked out completely fine! There were a few delays going up and coming home, due to the tubes but apart from that everything was great, I don't know why I worried! And now when I reflect on the trip it just makes me smile, as it's something I had never dream of doing  in a million years, I am so proud of myself!

July 15th | I have a boyfriend! Now this may seem like a bit of a shock to some of you but, yes I have a boyfriend now (and he's made of gold *Halsey reference, I'd be disappointed if none of you got that*). I met him earlier in the year at Deja Vu in Truro, we were friends with a lot of the same people and overtime we just started flirting with each other and as weeks went on, one of our friends TJ was like, 'you know Adam fancies you right', up until that I point, I thought Adam was gay and he thought I was too, to be fair. Looking back on it now though I can't help but laugh! Since we got together we've both been soo happy and I can't wait to see how our future plans out!

July 23rd | The Facebook Incident.. Now I'm not really aloud to comment on this but it's already out there. As you guys know I work at Superdrug in Truro and last month our store was targeted online by an individual, who made allegations about 2 members of staff. During this period, I and my colleagues had to deal with an awful amount of hate from customers, some comments were made to our face and some were screamed down the phone. I've never been scared to go to work, until this happened. It didn't help though, that I chose to read the comments online, I got so angry and so worked up, how could one comment get so out of hand? The most frustrating thing was that we weren't allowed to respond, comment or defend ourselves, let alone set the record straight. All I'm going to say is.. don't believe everything you read!      

July 26th | Nicole and I went to MTV Crashes Plymouth. We called this our warm up for Boardmasters. We only went to day 1 and saw the likes of Anne-Marie, Raleigh Ritchie, Rudimental and Jess Glynne! We stayed at Holiday Inn which was right next to Plymouth Hoe and we had a great time! Got to admit I was really only there for Jess Glynne but, I also really enjoyed Anne-Marie and have gone onto listening to a lot more of her music.

Ok, so that's the main gist of what you guys have missed, it may not seem like a lot but, there are a few things that have happened that I'll talk about at a later date. Now onto the future and whats to come.. well firstly, I'd like to officially announce that I've been working on a secret project which is, I'M WRITING A BOOK! It's something I started working on when I was 16 but, after a break from writing I've got back to it and I can't wait to share it with you one day, when I'm ready but, more about that in a separate blog post! I've also been working on bringing out my own merchandise, logo's, t-shirt designs, you name it I've been thinking about it. Feel free to offer some suggestions in the comment section below! I've been planning my music video for 'Heart Shaped Box' (yes I know long time coming), I've been planning my 2017 calendar and a potential collaboration with Source.fm which is a local radio station that I might be featuring on! Ok and breathe... that's an awful lot to take in I know, after the ups and downs over the past few months, I'm so excited at looking to the future and whats to come! I really hope that you guys will follow me on this journey! I love you soo much! Thanks again for 15,000 hits I couldn't have done any of this without you!

Life Update Sunday | Me A Model? .. Continued

This time a year ago I posted a blog post entitled 'Me A Model?', and I ended it with this - "And to answer the question, me a model? Well, the obvious answer is no, not professionally. Would I consider it in the future? Maybe?" - Today, I thought I'd re-evaluate that post! A few months back I modelled in a hair show, for the salon Square in Falmouth and through that I made contact with a brand new modelling agency here in Cornwall called, AMA. I was invited to attend a test shoot and here are the results..

{Photo Cred: https://www.facebook.com/adamannowiphotography/ }

 

I am in love with these results and I'm so proud and happy with myself that I actually agreed to doing this, if you told my 13 year old self that I'd one day attending a modelling shoot I would have never believed you, it just goes to show just how much my confidence has grown over the years. I honestly can't believe the amount of support and love I've had over these pictures, thank you guys so much!

 

If you want to learn more about my agency AMA, then you can check out their Facebook page as their is a ton of information on there - https://www.facebook.com/amamodelsuk/ - Their launching here in Cornwall this summer and there's still a chance to get involved too if you contact them quick!

 





Life Update Sunday | #takeoffthetape

The latest Mind campaign, truly stumped me. I was back and forth thinking what should I write, how do I explain this and do I sound crazy? Their latest campaign #takeoffthetape targets the anxiety within us. I'm sure that there is something in all of us that we keep too ourselves, it can be anything big or small and we can go our whole lives just bottling it up or we can talk about and well, take off the tape. The whole message from the campaign is about, standing up to anxiety and showing that you will not be silenced by this disease.

Do you talk about what’s most worrying you? Or do you keep your mouth shut about things that make you anxious? If you’re the tight-lipped type, we have a charity challenge for you...Take Off The Tape! - A snippet from their website.

Now onto the hard part... here I am taking off the tape... As someone with an anxious mind, it was hard for me to just write one thing and these are things I kinda want to talk about and bring awareness too.

 

The Unknown.

This is probably what I struggle with the most. Not knowing what's going to happen, today, tomorrow or 5 years down the line. I constantly worry about my job, if I'm happy and if it's what I want. I worry about not finding myself a partner, settling down and being in a long term relationship. I worry about my friendships and if my current friends will still be around in 5 years time (I hope they are). Basically, whenever I picture the future all I can see is a question mark and it fricking scares the hell out of me. There's so much that could go wrong, or not work out, or be how you expected and I don't like that. I don't like being out of control of something that to me, is so terrifying.

 

Image.

I don't think this is something I've ever spoken about publically but, here it is. I have been known to struggle with my image, how I look and how I'm perceived. In school I was a chubby kid and I did get teased because of this, at the time it destroyed my self confidence and it made me feel pretty low. I ended up becoming quite unhealthy and looking back on it now, it was wrong, it was stupid but, oh well it's in the past. I still however get a little self conscious when, meeting new people and going out to events. I constantly fuss over my outfit and finding things to wear because I'm worried that, other people will think I look fat or un-classy or scruffy.. I don't know why, it's just the little things that make me nervous. In terms of my weight and how I look, like I'm ok with my body. I'm not happy but not un-happy, if you know what I mean. I can see room for improvement and, now I know how to do that healthily, if and when I chose.

 

Judgement.

People. Just. People. I've seen a lot of hate and body shaming, being thrown around the internet recently and yes it needs to stop. It's stuff like this that makes me realise, how damaging the internet can be. Which is why I have been quiet on the YouTube front, not because I've personally had negative comments, but a lot of other YouTubers have and that scares me. I'm not worried that a person might not like me because of the content I post but, I do worry if someone doesn't like me, for who I am. It has taken me years to be ok with who I am and I'm still young, I'm still figuring things out and I don't want to be judged in the process, for trying to learn and grow as a person. I shouldn't need to apologise, explain myself or be judged. Everyone is equal and it's about time we learnt that.   


Thanks for reading. I really hope that you can take something from this blog post. If you are confident enough to get on board this campaign check out all the details on Mind's website - http://www.mind.org.uk/tape. Don't forget as well to donate if you can, all you have to do is text 'TAPE' to 70660, to donate £3, as you guys know this charity means a lot to me, so any donations would be fab! Tag me on Instagram (@iamthelostwolf) of screenshots of your donations and I will follow as many of you back, as I can! I hope your all well, be kind to one another in the comments.. I love you!

Life Update Sunday | #MHNfitness

Bet you didn't see this coming.. As part of my new years resolution was to 'get fitter', I thought I'd create this hashtag #MHNfitness to help me stick to my resolution! I also thought it would be a great idea, to connect with you guys who may also be struggling with the same resolution, so we can inspire and encourage one another to keep at it and not give up!

My resolution so far hasn't been too bad but, I really need to start upping the anti! So, I've been doing my research and seeing what has been working for other people. I found that this had some amazing results...

 

The Skinny Mint Teatox has had some amazing feedback and some jaw dropping before and after results! It's made up of a variety of herbs and is all natural. I just got mine and can't wait to get started with my teatox! Wish me luck!  

 

Hope you've had a great week, let me know what you've been up to down in the comments!