This past year has been one of the hardest for me. I've dealt with disappointment, grief and a whole lot of rejection. Not to mention constant lockdowns and uncertain times in our society. I've been spending a lot of time reflecting and asking myself what do I really want from life? Which I have a few things I can say about now.
Before that let's rewind 2020 wasn't that bad. Before the world stopped I went to Disneyland and experienced the holiday of a lifetime. I also saw Halsey play a sold out show at the 02, as well as lots of other antics in London that I got to experience with my incredible boyfriend Henry (2 and a half years and still going strong). Then the first lockdown hit and boy was that a roller coaster of emotions.
In the summer of 2020, I went camping for the second time in my life.. the first being Boardmasters which I will never do again! We went to the very lovely Roadford Reservoir and I got very sunburnt! Then towards the end of summer I went to Longleat! This is now one of my favourite places, what an experience that was. The place was buzzing was some interesting animals and some interesting tour guides. We got to experience one of the boat trips which was incredible and our tour guide was super funny, even though he picked on me!
Come the fall it was time to celebrate Henry's 24th birthday. We experienced a once in a lifetime opportunity, in having dinner at the aquarium in front of the shark tanks. A week later I was then invited to stay with my cousin Marcus at Landal Gwel An Mor. It was so kind of him to invite me to this little getaway and boy did I need it.
Then in November the second lockdown hit and I was once again off work. I did feel better about this one though. As it was the lead up to Christmas it was nice to have some time to experience cosy winter days and binge watch lots of Christmas films. My birthday fell right at the end of that lockdown and we made the most of it with what we could. Henry decorated the living room with balloons and I was very spoilt with my gifts. Once the restrictions lifted we spent time with close friends to celebrate.
Christmas was such a weird time with the rules changing last minute, but yet again we made the most of the situation and spent it with family. Shortly after Christmas we were plummeted into another lockdown (hopefully the last). And yet again my emotions were a roller coaster.
During the lockdowns I was trying my best to stay active and stay creative. I've always been a creative person so why not explore that while I had the time? I made wax melts, did a little cross stitching, made birthday cards, completed jigsaw puzzles, made some cakes and played a hell of a lot of animal crossing. Time well spent right?
I also realised during lockdown that as much as I love my little flat, I need more room so me and my boyfriend can live comfortably. We viewed a couple houses and made an offer but unfortunately didn't work out.
Then coming out of lockdown my cat, Scamp, started getting sick. It started off as an overactive thyroid and ended in kidney disease and a tumour in the back of his throat. He passed away early June. This was honestly one of the hardest times in my life and I still struggle with his loss most days.
I recently went for a promotion in the company I work with, which unfortunately I was unsuccessful with. They say bad things come in threes so my bad luck must be running out by now, right?
On the brighter side of things my very clever boyfriend has landed himself an apprenticeship. It's one he'll have to commute to for a bit but we hope to move closer to where he works to make life easier for him. Soo much has happened this year and there's still so much to come. I really want something good to come from this year so, from now on it's positive vibes only. I am finally excited about the future I get to build from now on. After all I'm in the drivers seat and I get to control my own happiness.
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