In a few days time I turn the big 18! So this is the birthday that everyone gets excited about, your old enough to buy alcohol, tobacco, you can get a tattoo and are able to vote! I mean this is all amazing stuff, but when you turn 18, your like a proper adult and have to think about adult things and yes, I'm looking forward to gaining more independence but, to me it all seems very overwhelming.
Coming up to my 18th birthday I kept feeling old and kept thinking about how much I haven't done in my life. I thought about those annoying gifted kids that change the world at 12 years old and have a degree and been to Harvard and can play the piano from behind their back. I just thought, that I have done nothing with my life. When I left school I didn't gain any great grades, as my anxiety made it hard for me to concentrate in school. I regret not trying my absolute hardest in school, I think if I had done well then maybe I would have gone on to college but, what's the point of good grades, eh? I chose to do an apprenticeship in Retail and ended up loving it and am on my way to starting a career in it. I have accomplished quite a bit in my life and I have told myself that I have time, I'm only 18 not 80. I guess my thoughts are all down to the fact, that I didn't think I'd had a future. A few years ago my anxiety sent me into a depression and I didn't know if I was strong enough to handle it but, I did and here I am.
I think I've been putting too much pressure on myself, to have a good 18th birthday, as there is so much hype around it. But you just got to let it go.. let it go.. *and well just enjoy yourself really. Life is too short to worry about other people, as long as your happy and healthy than I guess that's all that matters.
MHN xox
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